Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
