i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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