so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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