Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
