Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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