hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
