I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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