last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
