My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she looked like the before picture.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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