yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
