I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
