I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If I die, sorry about rent.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
