it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
