Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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