he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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