A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
