The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
