Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
