Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
