i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
