Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
