Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
