I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
How naked do you want me to be?
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