Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
