I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
