we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
