kristin has been a bad kristin
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
