No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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