Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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