By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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