just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize