Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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