wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
