your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
