We're like a lot better than the average bears
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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