Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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