I like to think it a success when the cops are called
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
