So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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