hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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