im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I got inside last night via doggy door
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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