Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
