my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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