That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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