You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
