It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
