I wanna bring you to show and tell
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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