Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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