no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We got so high we made milksteak
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
