Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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