your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
