People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
