We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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