im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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