You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
