whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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