I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
